This is curious. Just a few minutes ago I was recalling discovering my interest in women as a boy becoming an awkward adolescent. (Who would later become an awkward man around women he didn’t know.)
True to my bookish nature I read everything I could find about women from biology of sexual response in my mother’s college text books to questionable advice in magazines.
I was absolutely fascinated with women.
Around the same age I had begun my journey into what I now consider magick.
Though it started with my interests in psychic phenomena things really took off when I read Castaneda. Took me a year and a half but I eventually did see my hands in a dream!
For some reason I just noticed these parallel paths of my youth.
The magick developed quickly when I went into nature for healing when I was around 30 years old. I found the healing and then some as the energy began to pour through me.
Naturally the creative force showed up in my sexual energy. The doors blown open open by this change in energy were like none I had yet experienced. At the same time it was all very unbalancing and painful.
If I look from a lofty enough perspective? Wow. Supercharged growth.
In order to maintain an intense energy connection with another I suspect partners need to undergo a process. A balancing of sorts. One internal and the other between the partners.
In occult terms balance the Elements. Earth, Air, Fire, Water. Each person when balanced can be present with the partner. Then what arises between them can also be balanced. Fire reactions? Earth reactions. Bringing everything back to center.